Everybody has their down days

I apologise now for the fact that not a single bit of this blog is going to be jolly and that I will probably depress you all, you may not want to read about my general rantings of feeling well and truly stuck in a rut, and to be quite honest I don't blame you.

I also know there are so many people in the world in a far worse situation than me, but I shouldn't feel guilty that even though this is all a pile of pathetic crap I am genuinely being gotten down by it.

Well, I'm about to start one of the best years of my life according to my University by going out on placement and learning 'vital industry experience' and yes, I am excited about that and relieved that I have finally sorted it out (they make it sound like it's going to be a doddle, it really, really isn't) but I really want all that to start now, and not in a month and a bits time.

I also feel like the last three weeks and the next 3 weeks in regards to my day to day life (there have been good weekends etc that I have enjoyed) are completely wasted and time that I'm never going to get back.

This last term hasn't really had any proper structure and so it has made it difficult to really kick start being back here, each day feels like an existence of much the same of 'plod about the house not really doing anything productive and occasionally go to do stuff at Uni'. I have revision to do, yes but that's about it and the whole feeling is leaving me completely unmotivated to do anything, hence it's not often that the revision gets done.

Last year I had the feeling of 'Exams start in 3 weeks time, oh god' today it's 'my first exam's tomorrow and I couldn't give a crap' which is not like me, I do usually at least care even if I don't work, because ultimately I still like to do well.

I'm doing my degree because it will help me get the job that I want, which is most people's reason I guess, but I know that the job I want isn't really a job that I want to have a fantastic career in where I strive for each promotion until I'm at the top, which is probably what my problem is. I want a job working with children in the environment because Environmental Education is something I believe in, I don't feel like I need to go on some kind of huge campaign to either get to the top or change other people's opinion though, I just want to have my job alongside and good marriage, a family and a nice house. That's all I want and I could happily be a nobody for the rest of my life. I have no ambition in other things to achieve. Well I have complete wildest dreams, but nothing achievable.

In my fantasy world The Boyf and I will be millionaires within the next 2 or 3 years and I will be living a lifestyle of regular (but not always) partying with a lot of horse riding and fancy holidays thrown in, but I think everyone wants that. Preferably I would spend a lot of time in Monaco too, after falling in love with the place on holiday.

I guess I just thought that I'd achieve more along the way as I was at Uni, instead of just leading this mundane lifestyle for 3 years achieving a graduation, which is fantastic (although don't be expecting some kind of first class honours) but ultimately I felt I'd have other achievements added to the list by that point. The most I've done is manage to be the Secretary of the Equestrian Club for a year and I can't say it's something I have to boast about or really want to do again. 

I have to say rejoining the Sealed Knot has been a bit of a big deal for me, because I feel like it's something I get genuine joy out of again, the kind of joy I only really get out of that and riding, but due to the expense and time neither of these things happen as often as I'd like, but I do get a great buzz as battles get closer as I feel that I can just escape and don't really have to think about anything apart from sitting with friends laughing and whether the match I'm holding is burning at both ends.

In 3 weeks time this will all be over and I have a fantastic two weeks planned after exams, before starting placement and moving to Kent some time in July, but in complete honesty I really don't want these next 3 weeks to happen, apart from the 5 days at the end of this week where I will be at a battle. 

(Apologies now if you're depressed).

I will blog again in just over 3 weeks time, when happier events have happened and I will have a bit of a happier outlook on things!

Bank Holiday Weekend

So as I said in my last post, the Bank Holiday Weekend was full of adventure and such like.

The Boyf arrived Thursday afternoon and after a short potter round the shops (and him buying me a lovely new top), we headed off to the cinema. That afternoon we went to go and see Salmon Fishing In The Yemen. It was a brilliant film! Ewan McGregor, Emily Blunt and Kristen Scott-Thomas were the main actors, so I had high hopes from the start and they weren't disappointed, the story was wonderful and very well played out, and overall there was a feel-good vibe that made you think 'Why do I always give up so easily? Maybe things that seem impossible can be done'. 

That evening was then spent at home eating home made chinese and watching tele.

Friday was spent in Shrewsbury, which as I keep saying is a wonderful town. Yet again my town driving skills failed me and we got well and truly lost, but managed to eventually get to the cheap car park I know of near the Abbey. The main reason for going to Shrewsbury was to take The Boyf to the Shropshire Regimental Museum, also so that I could go round a bit slower this time as I was trying to leave enough time to visit the other Museum in Shrewsbury last time I was there (the other museum isn't as appealing to me or the Boyf, so we gave it a miss this time). We both really enjoyed it, and although the weather was no where near as nice as when I went before, we climbed to the top of the tower and got some lovely pictures of the views over Shrewsbury.

Please excuse the dire weather...

After going round the shops for a little bit I decided to treat myself to a lovely new bag, it really is lovely, if a little pricey. I think I deserve it though, for no particular reason. It's the Cath Kidston 'Be a Good Sport' bag and I am pretty sure that I'm going to take it to the Olympics with me. 

The evening was spent with the Engineer Boys and Yorkshire Friend, after cooking them all dinner we spent the evening watching various Friday Night Telestuffs and had a totally enjoyable evening. It was really nice to have a social gathering of sorts to kind of make up for the lack of social gathering due to the battle being cancelled.

On  Saturday we went to the museum at RAF Cosford. It was brilliant! and I don't really like planes so that's saying something. I found it really interesting and loved finding out about things and with the Boyf there with his geeky plane stuffs knowledge he was there to answer all my questions. 

Highlight of my day was definitely the 1:1 Scale Airfix Spitfire that is there, the one that was featured on James May's Toy Stories. I am pleased to be able to say to people that I've now seen it!

In the shop I purchased another model plane to make and have got part way through it so far. I really wish that they were already built and I could just paint them, that's the fun bit!

On Saturday evening we went out for a meal, and ended up going to the pub that was my Grandpa's old local. It was weird but lovely to be back there, as the last time I was there was 30th June 2009, as that is where his Wake was held. It was still a rather happy affair that day though, as everyone knew he'd have hated to see us at said pub being miserable. 

Many other memories lie within that pub, so it was special being back. The food was great as always, but I've got a feeling that now it's owned by a different company, that Paul the Landlord that was there for as long as I can remember and was a great friend of my Grandpa may not be the Landlord any more. I was too shy to ask and find out, but partly because if he's not, I'd rather not definitively know that. 

Sunday was a very lazy day, nothing of interest happened but it was mice just to have a relaxing day with the Boyf and not feel like we should be doing something.

On Monday morning he went home and I then spent the afternoon at home doing as little as possible. It was a Bank Holiday, I was entitled to do so!

Tuesday and today have been much the same as the usual, attending lectures and starting on some revision, the proximity of exams is a dreadful thought, but hopefully nothing will be too daunting once the time comes.

Overall, it was a good way to spend a Bank Holiday weekend once original plans had been dropped, and I did really enjoy it. Currently in the process of deciding whether to go to an event in Sheffield in a couple of weeks times, but that will depend on who else is going I think.

In the mean time, have a good few days!

Back at Harper

I've decided that blogging every few days is probably more practical than every day as I'm finding that sometimes I'm just not being remotely interesting.

Last Friday I again don't think that anything of great interest happened. Saturday was an all together better day as I went shopping with the Elder Basons followed by a riding lesson with Mummy Bason. The lesson was great and everyone had a good time. It was also a nice way to end as I won't be able to ride back at home for a while.

Sunday was also good, the morning was spent at church saying goodbyes as that is another place I won't be back at for a while. We then had my Great Aunt round for Sunday lunch which is one of those things we've been saying we'll do for years but haven't gotten round to doing until now. The weather was appalling and I spent the late afternoon packing before heading back to Harper. Some of the stuff I had packed was camping gear, ready for the next battle that we're going to next weekend in Yorkshire. Except I got a call from my friend when I was half way home to tell me that it had been cancelled as the majority of the campsite is underwater. I was disappointed to say the least but the Boyf has decided to come and visit me here instead and we have plenty of trips out planned that I will tell you about after.

It does make the next battle all the more eagerly awaited!

I spent Sunday night with the Engineer Boys and a couple of other friends and we had cake baked by Yorkshire Friend (different person from Yorkshire Housemate) before watching The Big Bang Theory.

Now I always thought that show wouldn't really be my kind of comedy but oh lord I am now addicted. Yesterday I spent most of the day watching all 17 episodes of series 1 and today I have watched the same number of series 2. I had no lecture's and I really need to get out more!

Eventually I persuaded myself to get up today and I have completely unpacked and spent some time downstairs with my housemates.

Tomorrow I do have lectures so I'm going to end now so that I can get a sufficient nights sleep before an early start.

Live long and prosper (too much Big Bang Theory?!)